1Combine soy sauce, rice vinegar, hoisin sauce, sesame oil and corn starch in a small bowl
2Season the wok
3Add vegetable oil to make a puddle on the bottom
4Crack the heat to medium high and let it heat. Swirl to coat the edges often until it begins to smoke
5Discard the oil and wipe out the pan with a paper towel
6Boil water over medium high heat and add fresh chow mein or stir fry noodles
7Boil that for about 10-20s or what the package directions say, and immediately drain and rinse with cold water until completely cooled to stop the cooking process
8Add vegetable oil heat over medium high to wok
9Sear the boneless skinless chicken thighs in two batches to avoid overcrowding
10Cook the chicken until every piece is cooked all the way through with some color on it
11Finely chop seven cloves of garlic and prep all of your other vegetables - julienne one whole carrot, finely diced two ribs of celery, cut two green onions into one inch segments, and slice napa cabbage nice and thin
12Remove the meat from the wok
13Add the green onions and stir fry for about 30s or until the greens are wilted and starting to char nicely
14Add three quarters of your finely chopped garlic and stir fry until the garlic turns to a toasted golden brown color
15Add your celery and carrots
16Stir fry that for 2 minutes or until softened, followed by your cabbage
17Crank the heat to high and stir fry the absolute piss out of that for two minutes or until the cabbage is wilted and has a little bit of char
18Turn the heat to medium high, add your chicken back and stir fry until the chicken is hot again
19Add in one cup or 85g of bean sprouts
20Add your noodles and stir fry for about 45 seconds, then add all of your chow mein sauce
21Stir fry and toss until completely coated
22Add two tablespoons of water, stir fry and toss again repeatedly for about 1 minute or until your noodles are beautifully glazed and coated with the elixir of flavor
23Cut the heat and finish that off by tossing with your remaining garlic and stir until thoroughly combined